Hello everyone!
My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We have three kids together and I have one from previous marriage. We usually go to bed around 9 or 10, this part matters.
Husband works about an hour away from home, so if bad weather is forecast he stays at a hotel by his work. Back in late Jan a storm was coming so he booked three nights, Sat-Mon nights. On Monday night he calls me at 11:15pm just to see what I’m doing. I’m sleeping so I say that and we say I love you’s and goodnight. At 1:00am I wake up and literally sat straight up and had a gut feeling something was up due to him calling as late as he did. It wasn’t late but for our usual schedule it was late.
So I go to AT&T website and log on and look at the phone log. Beginning at 11:18pm he began texting a number. It happened back and forth 212 times, I counted a few days later. Anyway I google the number and it is linked to an escort. The page had a bunch of women saying what they’ll do and their numbers, every number is different (so I’m not sure if it’s a service with multiple girls or a site for individual girls if there is such a thing).
I call him at 1:25 and ask who he’s talking to even though I knew. He denies and says he’s sleeping, I’m crazy, what tf is wrong with me, blah blah blah. The texts stopped after I called him but she texted him the next morning at 8am or so, and the morning after that around the same time. If I remember correctly she texted him four times in following days and he didn’t reply.
So that morning I call him and he’s still in denial mode. FINALLY around noon he admitted it, said he was embarrassed to tell me, he’s so sorry and he loves me and our family. The usual things one says I’m assuming. I told him he needed to stay at a hotel again because I need to be away from him. Next day he comes home and I was crying then yelling then calm and circle back around to crying, it was a cycle.
So Thursday I tell him I need to see his phone and I want to see bank statements and his CashApp account. He screen shots both but only three transactions for each. According to those he sent the escort $50, which doesn’t seem right for 200+ texts, plus there were two picture messages that night one from her and one from him.
So I go pick him up from work (he doesn’t drive) and say hand your phone over. Guess who’s “lost” his phone? Told him he needs to find a marriage counselor and needs to find a way to get me into the bank statement (not my account).
More stuff happens after that, but overall I feel like we got along better than we had in a long time. But I’m waiting for him to do something. Call a marriage counselor. Get me a bank statement. Something.
Today I tell him it’s been six weeks and while I’m willing to forgive I need him to do more to help me get over the trauma. It’s been six weeks worth of days for him to do the heavy lifting of his screw up. I’m at home all day taking care of homeschooling the kids (Covid), and I wasn’t the one who texted an escort.
So my questions are, what are the chances he legit lost his phone? I’m thinking very slim. What are the chances he paid more than $50? I’m fairly sure it was all sexting but is she going to be cool with only $50 for two hours? And it seems she has texted him after that night because he paid more than $50, otherwise why keep trying to contact him?
I’m sure I’ve left a lot out, so assuming anyone replies if there are questions ask away.
